Before you move in together

Perhaps you have been involved in a romantic relationship with your partner for some time now and while everything feels just perfect, in practical terms it is starting to seem very strange that you have two separate residences when you seem to spend every hour together.  Before you take the plunge and make the decision to move in together, there are a few things that you will need to take into consideration.  Take your partner by the hand, sit them down and take some time to discuss the important but far too often overlooked issues that can often come up when we share a living space with another human being, particularly one with whom we are in love.

You will need to make a commitment to spend some time together to share your thoughts about whether the time to move in together has arrived.  You will need to establish whether moving in together is a practical and easy solution that simply seems good for where you are in your relationship at the moment or whether you both see it as a possible first step toward marriage or some other form of long-term serious commitment.  You will also each need to talk in turn about a number of questions that are important for two people who are contemplating living together to address.

You each need to explain what loving one another means to you and how you wish to express this love, as well as what you are anticipating will change in your relationship once you have begun living together.  You also need to talk about what generally occurs when you have a fight and how you are both able to resolve such conflicts.  If either of you has had prior relationships that have broken down, think about the factors that led to the collapse of these relationships.  It is also important to consider whether there is anything that you are reluctant to share with your partner for fear of what their response may be.

You should think about whether there are things about your partner that you would like to change and also how it will affect you if these things do not change after the move.  Talking about having children in the future and even pets is something that should be discussed as early as possible, even if these scenarios may seem to still be a long way off.  It is important that both you and your partner discuss how much self or private time you are going to need and what the expectations are when it comes to spending time with each other’s families.

The sharing of chores such as cooking, cleaning, shopping and paying bills also needs to be brought up as early as possible in order to avoid conflict down the line.  Friends and the amount of time you will each spend with them are another topic that should be broached.  The goal of these discussions is to reach an understanding before such issues become tricky problems.